For as long as I can remember I have always been in church. From Sunday school and
church service to choir practice and youth group on Wednesdays. If the church doors were
open my family and I were always there. I always had strong Christian influences in my life, and
they were some of my greatest blessings. Because of these Christian influences and my life
circumstances, I became a Christian fairly young.
I was in the hospital frequently from a young age for months at a time. I was the kid that
always ask the question “why?”. I wanted to understand why I was sick all the time, and why
bad things happened to good people. I began to see how scary the unknowns of passing from
this earth could be. I realized that because of sin in the world including my own that we needed
a savior. I saw the evidence for a creator from the complexity of the human body to the science
behind our ever‐expanding universe. I had seen God move in mighty ways in my own life and
the lives of others that his existence was undeniable. God took circumstances that were
completely out of my control and used them to prove just how great he truly is while growing
my own faith.
No matter how difficult our life situations were God always provided for my family and I.
God continued to show me throughout my childhood that he cared about me and would always
deliver. Five years ago, God truly tested my faith. My dad was diagnosed with cancer and was
given 4 years to live. My family’s lives had changed forever and I didn’t know how to handle it. I
knew God would provide but the amount of fear and anxiety was overwhelming.
Close to the same time as my dad’s diagnosis, a circumstance that was out of my control
happened and it sent me into a spiral. The overwhelming thoughts of “if only you wouldn’t have
been there”, “you knew better” and “you were raised better” were constantly playing in my
mind. My self‐worth through my identity in Christ was under attack. I fell down a dark path that
only led to more roads of self‐destruction. I knew that God loved me, but I just didn’t think he
liked me anymore. I struggled to understand how God could still love me even though I had run
so far. I knew his grace and mercy were the most amazing gift, I just didn’t think that included
God continued to provide by sending some of those same people that invested in me back into
my life. They reminded me of the truths that I had learned so many years ago. “nor height, nor
depth, nor any other created thing, will be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in
Christ Jesus our Lord” ‐ Romans 8:39. When I became a Christian all those years ago, I was
adopted into Gods family. Even though I fell and stumbled in my sin I was always still God’s
child. No matter how unlovable or underserving of grace I felt (which we all are), it was by my
faith in Jesus and that he died and rose again and by that faith I was made a new creation. Not
even I can separate myself from God’s love when I became a child of God’s.